Don't mess up my baby

My grandma actually introduced me to this article, she’s pretty brainwashed by the telegraph and described it to me as him killing dozens of people. What a load of shit.

Anyway here’s aforementioned article:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/features/8584371/Pete-Doherty-who-will-stop-the-Pied-Piper-of-heroin.html

These two biased journalists portrayed Doherty as a drug lord killing all those in his path. He pushed them from tower blocks, gave them overdoses and brainwashed them when the reality is far from this twisted truth.

Sure Doherty is a bit of a dick, I certainly don’t idolise him but the telegraph snootys wrote: ‘Freddy McConnel looked “angelic”: the neighbours say it; the photos prove it. His parents talk tenderly of their “staggeringly bright”, “deliciously naughty” boy, the teenager who had the talent to be a novelist, the baby who would “sing” to them in his cot.’ When in reality he was just a student who listened to music spending daddies money on narcotics, influenced by those closest to him. Not Doherty.

Case number 2 consists of somebody falling out of a window at a house party, and case number three is a girl who overdosed with a guy. Perhaps the telegraph should point the finger at preppy teens spending all daddies money on coke rather than pointing the finger at someone who obviously has no control over what they do.

Ask Google

It seems to me with the birth of the internet that exams are now pointless in the sense of testing students on their knowledge. Instead they test on to what extent we can remember the mark scheme from last year’s exams; making it a battle of memory not knowledge. Exams are now just a way of showing that you have a brain and know where to gather information. Is there really a need to know everything now, when you can just Google it? perhaps this old fashioned ranking system needs an update with the times.

Now we’re cooking on radiation

100 years ago the average time to cook a meal was an hour, to the modern day person  taking 15 minutes out of there life to heat food seems an overwhelming inconvenience. Supermarkets bully high street shops into closing down with their vast tarmac savannas and ‘low’ prices, but what effect has this had on us consumers? We strife through the aisles looking for something to fill our stomachs with; our only objectives being price and speed. No wonder the UK spends an estimated 1.8 billion pounds a year on ready meals; surprisingly this doesn’t come as a shock to most of us.

But the issue of time doesn’t have to result in watching Jamie Oliver dribble in pictures of his latest book, instead children should be forced to take food technology at least up to a GCSE level. Perhaps this would lead not to an interpretation of cooking as adding a premade sauce to pasta or sprinkling watercress over an M&S ready meal.

The future of food doesn’t look like farm produce for all, instead mega factories churning out slop, but it will be able to be heated in two minutes so that makes it okay.

slave to apple

wonder if when the iphone 5 comes out everyone will pay half a grand to update their phone for a slightly higher megapixel camera. It's not even a case of keeping up with the Jones's , just brainwashing.

wanna fill in a direct debit?

I think street buskers and charity workers are the reason I feel the need to speed walk round town (and especially Leeds), in Halifax I have actually been in the situation where I can see five green shelter types stood in a line, it’s almost like a game of rugby, with me trying to get my soul to the dentist (yeah I would class the dentist as a better character), trying to keep right to the right, nearly knocking into the wind shelters at café Nero and leaving all those less fortunate behind me. Anyway back to the point….

 You can’t make it from one store to another without being bombarded with claims that you are the killer of children and Leeds students badly singing covers of songs because they spent all their money at bargain booze (which isn’t even that cheap). I don’t feel sorry for the charity people as they get paid. I think the shopping streets would be much happier places without either of these, and that the recent ban in Manchester of ‘charity muggers’ should be followed everywhere. Street performers should just get a job or go back to their mansion.

empty laughs

canned laughter

any need really?

you know its a bad program when they tell you when to laugh

um-pa what now

Thought we were booked for a 16^th on Saturday, turns out it’s to accompany an um-pa band. Words cannot describe how confused I am.

10 (8) reasons why nobody should go to town on a Tuesday

-          -Hardly anywhere’s open 

-          -The only people serving are munters (must save the best looking for the weekend)

-         - Everywhere plays music tv channels (pretty lazy tbh, how hard is it to make a playlist?) meaning not only do you get the uk top 40 everywhere but adverts as well

-        -  Its dead meaning no atmosphere anywhere

-        -  Spoons doesn’t even have music on, just the sound of grumbling, and pretty sure I heard old people talking -about their daughter going to sex parties

-         - Yates is pretty scummy with a fair few domestics (perhaps this is every night at Yates?)

-         - The acca aint open – expensive drinks are the only option

-          -Can’t even sit in spoons without being I’d it’s that empty

pop punk copy cats

I perfectly understand the need for bands to gain influence from somewhere, but is there any need to put on a fake American accent really? For decades in music bands have ridden on the back of other bands to get to the top by copying there style, look and material. Key examples of this would be primal scream and a whole host of Britpop bands ripping off their 60’s heroes; but is there really any need to continue the trend of generations before? Although the term pop punk has loosely existed since the early 70’s it wasn’t until the 90’s when bands such as blink 182 and the offspring achieved worldwide appraise for their music as the term pop punk as we know it today, taking attributes from their predecessors such as the Ramones and the jam, but clearly defining their own sound using let’s be honest whiney teenage voices.

But now I just don’t understand why band from Wales, England, Sweden and all over the world adopt only these early nineties bands sounds but also there persona making 100’s of exact clones, and people just seem to be lapping them up, with their stupid fake American accents.

Get your own scene instead of being in one that’s far to over saturated as it is.

the dumbing down of comedy

After seeing the recent release of the Hangover part 2, although not watching the film as in my opinion the prequel didn't live up to the roaring almost cult obsession with it. In my opinion it just consisted of lots of one liners and cheap gags with a plot that hardly made the audience think very much about what was about to happen, rather firing 'funny' situation after situation at the audience. This lead me to think about why Hollywood has produced a new genre of comedy for those who find intellectual comedy such as that from the Cohen brothers too complicated to comprehend. Instead they have dozens of writers sat in a room spending all day creating the golden one liners which the film will later rely to place in a TV ad, probably with all the funny moments in the film placed in it. Making box office numbers soar.  I believe that for a real comedy, there needs to be sustenance to the plot, and like a good film keep the audience guessing, the black comedy genre often provides us with the right mix of thrill and laughs (however dark the joke subjects may be),   I believe that Independent and small budget films are often far more 'funny' and enthralling than there tacky Hollywood counterparts. I'll finish this with a list of my 5 favourite independent/low budget comedies and I urge you to watch them (you will enjoy these far more than anything released by Warner brothers in the last 10 years):

- Little Miss Sunshine
- Black Sheep
- The Cottage
- Fargo
- The Royal Tenenbaums

hate everything about this

3rd time unlucky

Looking at the third installment of Pegg and Frosts combined trio of films (Shaun of the dead, hot fuzz and paul), this film was so terrible I couldn't even watch the whole of it. Shaun of the dead is an example of spoof at its best and is a film I could watch over and over again, sure it has my pet hate of one off funny moments but the whole film is just put together and written so well I can forgive it for that. Hot fuss sees an up in the duos budget, letting them have explosions and special effects galore, despite this up in budget they still managed to create a well thought out and executed plot, using suspense, thrills and funny moments to create a great film. with these two films behind the duo and a number of other projects between them such as the award winning spaced, I can't comprehend why they got it so wrong in Paul. Everything about this film screams out crap to me, the poorly drawn characters, the bland plot  and a severe lack of comedy. perhaps due to the bigger budget the duo have become too comfortable in the careers they have made and haven't really tried on this film; perhaps due to the fact that there was such a high budget takes away the realness of it all we got used to in Shaun of the dead, making it a blockbuster movie which we expect much much more from. the film is a poor example of two brilliant minds and I hope their  next creation goes back to their roots.